Lessons Learned
by MissLe
Summary: He probably would've enjoyed the slow and burning kiss bestowed on him if not for the cat calls that it roused from the rest of the bar or one of the Stabbington brothers booming casually over the noise, "Hey, looks like the Royal Guard finally arrived."


"As a lady of the castle, you must never curtsy to anyone, as they will all be below your rank, the queen Her Majesty, of course, is an exception..."

_Flick._

"...one never exposes their wrist like _so_, however, as that would be highly inappropriate and can send all sorts of scandalous connotations, _not _unlike..."

_Flick._

_Flick._

"My lady!" A sharp voice cuts through the mild day dreams of Rapunzel as a hand abruptly slaps down on the tiny wad of paper that had been keeping her sane and amused for the past forty-five minutes in a game of pass between her two hands that had each been acting goalies. Sheepishly, she turns fluttering green eyes up at the exasperated man before her who seems to be doing everything in his power to avoid letting out a woeful sigh of frustration.

A twinge of guilt expands in her chest as she watches him fight a losing battle and settle on a huff of irritation. Her tutor, Sir Gallinghad, is by no means an awful person and was if anything very polite, though admittedly in a snobbish manner that Rapunzel has been assured of has merely been product of his high class upbringing, nor is it his fault that Rapunzel is such a terrible student.

(Well, not entirely, at least.)

"Sorry," She mumbles and bites her lip in an apologetic manner. She hopes he won't be too mad at her, though she can really hardly blame him as she finds her attention constantly wandering far and away from whatever lessons he tries to teach her.

"My lady," Sir Gallinghad begins again, only to be interrupted quite quickly into his well planned speech.

"Rapunzel!" She pleads and wrings her hands together nervously as his eyebrows furrow together and his well maintained moustache bristles slightly in irritation. "Please, call me Rapunzel."

"I don't believe that would follow protocol and would indeed, work against all my teachings thus far, my lady."

"It can be our little secret." She grins winningly at him and laughs in delight as he gives a stiff and unwilling nod of assent.

"Fine, _Rapunzel_," He sighed and pinches the bridge of his impressively long pointed nose, fingers flaring away from his face. "I realize that learning the etiquette and manners befitted of a lady of your status is hardly a...charming way to spend an afternoon and can honestly be both tedious and seemingly redundant, but it is necessary, do you understand?" He flutters one stern eye open at her and frowns, "It is not appropriate for a princess to be parading herself around like a...forgive me, a common tart."

Rapunzel's freckled nose wrinkles in confusion at this as she tilts her head to the side and asks curiously, "Like, apple pie? Instead of something a little different like...cranberry pomegranate pie? I'm afraid I don't really get the connection..."

"What?" His eyebrows furrows again in confusion before an exasperated realization hits him and he shakes his head, "Never mind, never mind. What I am trying to get at is that we cannot have such a display witnessed in town two weeks ago. You remember it, yes?"

At this Rapunzel turns bright pink. She does. It was the reason she is now forced to take these dreadful etiquette lessons.

* * *

><p>"Eugene!" A thrilled gasp tore through the lively crowd and rang through bewildered ears with a clarity only one voice held to him. Arms flung excitedly around broad shoulders and tangled dexterous fingers into thick chestnut hair.<p>

"Rapunzel," An eyebrow was raised at the wide green eyed grin he was on the receiving end of as he snaked one arm slowly around her waist, watching with a thinly veiled smirk as the royal guard huffed its way further into the village square all deafening clatter and blinding shine from their ungainly armour. "Training the Royal Guard today, are we?" Her sudden dash over to him had the guards sprinting and panting behind in pursuit, attempting to still keep their charge still in sight.

"Haha, of course not, silly!" She laughed merrily and nuzzled a soft cheek against the underside of his jaw where she watched in rapture as his throat bobbed in the most _fascinating _of ways. She leaned back in his arms and slowly unlatch her hands from his hair to draw them around his back, drawing them closer. "After I finished having tea with mama and father, everyone told me you went out to town when I asked for you. I thought it would be an exciting adventure if I could come out to see you! I haven't left the castle grounds by myself since I got here."

"I suppose that would explain tweedledum, tweedledee, and tweedlethree." Eugene remarked dryly and glanced over to the three guards who managed to make it past the bustling crowd, snarling and panting. "Though from the looks of it, the flea bitten pony could probably done a better job."

"Maximus broke his horseshoe this morning." Rapunzel said solemnly and bit her lip. "He's getting it fixed, so mama said I had to take the three best of the Guard today if I went out." She rolled up onto her tip toes to whisper conspiratorially into his ear, lips brushing his softly in a way that made Eugene's fingers dig unconsciously into her hip. "Mama said she almost would rather have Maximus escort me because he gets into less trouble and keeps us out of it better than them."

His deep rolling laughter in return was warming and rough, it made her want to think of all the possible ways she could ever make him laugh. She did so enjoy when he did, even if it was at her expense, though this was rarely the case as he was so patient with her in her newfound role as princess. "She's a smart lady, your mom."

"Your highness!" Tweedledum, as Eugene had dubbed him, stood tall beside the two with his flanking officers mimicking his stance stiffly. "I must insist that you stop fleeing from us, your safety is our first and utmost priority and concern."

" 'Fleeing?' " Eugene chuckled richly and ruffled her short hair affectionately. "Are we fleeing the Royal Guard again?" Hazel eyes flickered to the guard's form who was sneering down at him. "Wouldn't want the Captain to be getting a bit of a paunch, now would we?" He playfully reached out and patted the man's armoured stomach, earning him a purple faced expression of fury from the man.

"No!" Rapunzel shouted indignantly and pouted. "I've never _fled _from the Royal Guard. And I've seen the Captain train the Guard, they're all very fit as it is!"

Reaching out with a finger, Eugene tapped her pert nose before slowly drawing it down to her pouting lip and letting it linger there for a moment. Blinking, he quickly retracted it and recovered with a smarmy raising of his eyebrow. "Wanna change that?"

"What-" Her sentence was left unfinished as suddenly she was jerked forward by her hand, people suddenly whizzing by as she was dragged through the crowd by Eugene, darting past stalls and bewildered townspeople. Enraged shouts followed closely behind before they slowly began getting fainter and fainter until they almost altogether disappeared as Eugene jerked the two of them sharply around a corner against a quiet street wall.

Leaning back against the wall and peering over the side of it on the look out just for good measure, Eugene grinned widely and panted through deep lungfuls of air, "Enough excitement and adventure for one day or shall we go cause riotous festivities including much dancing and music in the Snuggly Duckling again? Perhaps this time make it a bit alcohol induced. Just for the sake of everyone's sanity and pride."

She giggled as he turned his eager face back to her and couldn't resist wrapping her arms around him tightly. Chests still heaving from exertion, she pressed her face against that favourite spot of hers on his neck and said, "Well, it was certainly _breathtaking_."

Again, she knew that part of his throat bobbed as she felt it against her forehead rather than saw it this time, though it was replaced by his thrumming groan as he dramatically clutched at her shoulders to stare him in the eyes. "Please, don't tell me that these crummy puns are what your new court friends are teaching you over tea and biscuits."

"Tea and scones," Rapunzel corrected, "They're really tasty! Usually I just have a blueberry one, but yesterday the head baker brought us white chocolate berry ones!" She sighed contentedly at the memory and closed her eyes dreamily. "You should really come to one and try one."

"Sure, Blondie," He responded uneasily and tugged playfully on a short lock of brown hair. "You know me, all for tea and crumpets."

The distraction tactic was not lost on Rapunzel who bit her lip and murmured quietly, "Eugene..."

He ruffled her hair until it sprung up from underneath his fingers a frizzy mess. "I said don't worry about it, princess." He grinned cheekily and pressed a chaste kiss against her temple, his goatee tickling her cheekbone scratchily. "I'll come to your courtly tea parties and dress to impress even." He grasped her hand and tugged her out from their corner into the busier street. "Come on, we're here to adventure, right?"

It wasn't long before the two were thronged by the masses, joyously greeting their newly welcomed princess and her vagabond saviour. Children were grasping at hems of dresses and tugging on lapels of shirts while owners attempted to beckon the two into their shops. Before Rapunzel could feel too overwhelmed though, familiar shouts and clattering of armour could be heard through the bustling crowd, pushing past people with nary so much as a "pardon me."

"Escape plan: part two," Eugene muttered with a toothy smirk as he saluted to the crowd and declared with one arm tightly wrapped around Rapunzel's small shoulders, "I'm afraid the princess and I _must _be off now, you know, more places to see, babies to kiss, free stuff to take. _Farewell_!"

"_Stop him_!" Roared the Captain over the crowd, sprinting and barrelling at top speed past jostled people, his two acting officers trailing closely behind.

Confused, the crowd parted but did little else as they watched the princess and what most supposed to be the future prince dart down a back alleyway and disappear further away through winding back streets and over rooftops. Stopping momentarily to catch his breath, the Captain casually strolled over to an empty apple crate and hefted it up on a single hand, weighing it with deliberation. "Rider..." He snarled lowly beneath his breath, "Still a pain in my ass even after managing to become a '_model citizen_'." Angrily, he threw the crate with full force at the brick wall before him, startling the passing townsfolk as it exploded in shrapnel and splinters.

He turned back to his two officers who were shifting uneasily next to each other and sighed, rustling his moustache as his breath blew past in a low huff. "Well, let's go find our princess before they manage to scandalize the whole town."

* * *

><p>"James!" Rapunzel trilled and stumbled into the dimly lit tavern of the Snuggly Duckling to be enveloped into a large, hook-handed hug. "It's been so long!"<p>

" 'James?'" Eugene repeated sceptically and glanced up at the bald giant who was glowering at him over Rapunzel's short spiky hair. "James...Hook. You're kidding."

"Something funny, _Fitzherbert_?" He growled back and smirked at the flinch that came about in response, though at his raised hook hand or the exposure of Eugene's real name, he really couldn't tell.

"Ulf! Vladimir! Tor! Killer!" Rapunzel had taken to prancing around the room and greeting each of her friends who raucously greeted her in return with rough and lewd comments only Eugene and Rapunzel would've recognized as friendly. Those who went too far ended up with a fist in their eye socket anyways.

"Günter!" She made her way to one of the thugs and grasped his meaty fingers earnestly. "I love what you've done with the new place, _very _cozy." The new tavern had been relocated from the middle of the forest to the middle of town where new ruffians were welcomed in and taught the ground rules to follow your dreams and respect the princess at all costs. This meant no inappropriate grabs or leering, or face the threat of asphyxiation through ceramic unicorns being shoved down one's throat.

Luckily, it seemed that Eugene was exempt from said rule as Rapunzel faithfully trotted back to his side and curled up contentedly under one arm. He smirked pleasantly at Hook and made a flourishing gesture with his free hand. "Well, Garcon _James_, your finest table, please."

"The bar! Let's sit at the bar! Ooooh! Look, it's mahogany wood, isn't it, James?" Rapunzel gasped and sprung over to the bar where she caressed the wood in awe. "How lovely..."

"Well, I suppose the bar will also do."

He slid into the bar next to Rapunzel and glanced at the two mugs of ale slammed onto the countertop. She glanced at the ale curiously as well before delicately bringing her nose to the rim and sniffed. This brought upon a humorous reaction of a scrunched nose and gasping breath. She peered up with round eyes and mumbled worriedly, "They'll take it offensively if I don't drink what's offered to me, won't they?"

"Goldie, I'm sure that you will be an exception to that rule." A chuckle and a swig of ale later was founded with Rapunzel trying her first sip of alcohol. Sympathetically he found himself patting her back as she coughed pathetically and glanced up with mournful eyes. "Ah, don't worry about it Rapunzel. You don't have to try. It's an...acquired taste."

"Then I have to acquire it!"

* * *

><p>"You know, <em>Euuuugeeeeene<em>," Rapunzel drawled and swayed over to her amused caretaker who was sitting languidly on his barstool facing her, one arm propping him up lazily against the bar counter. Arms draped around his shoulders as she stood between his legs, her forehead resting against his comfortably. "You, smell really, really good." She ran her nose across his temple and sighed. "Even better than those-those scones you know, that I eat."

"Blondie...are you sure you've only had one mug so far?"

"Yep!" She leaned back and waved her empty mug in the air, narrowly missing his skull as he ducked at the right moment. "And you're right! I can't even-I can't even _taaaaste _this anymore! I should...I should have another one, shouldn't I, Eugene?" She leans close to gaze earnestly into his amused eyes.

"Naw, I think that, maybe, you've had enough for today..."

"Aw, but _Eugeneeeeee_..." She wheedled and mumbled against the corner of his mouth, "Then I'd be _rude _otherwise."

"_Hey_!" Another mug of ale was slammed onto the counter with a fierce hook threaded through its handle. Raising one eyebrow threateningly at Eugene, Hookhand growled, "If the girlie wants to have another one, she can _have _another one, _got it_?"

Eugene quickly spun back around on his stool to Rapunzel who was eyeing the mug curiously. "Listen, Rapunzel, I really don't wanna be the one explaining to the good old Captain why his charge is throwing up all over his spanky new armour, which by the way this is continuing may very well happen. Please, for me? I don't really feel like facing the gallows today."

"Eugene," She clasped both hands clumsily on the side of his face and said in such a way that her sincerity shone through her obvious inebriation, "I'd do _anything _for you."

He probably would've enjoyed the slow and burning kiss she bestowed upon him more if not for the jeering and cat calls that it roused from the rest of the bar...or one of the Stabbington brothers booming casually over the noise, "Hey, looks like the Royal Guard finally arrived."

"Shit," Eugene breathed and stood quickly, pulling her instinctively against him. Of all the times... "Hey, Hookhand, you got yourself another secret escape?"

"Do I have another secret escape, he asks." Hookhand growled incredulously under his breath , "Of course I have another one, you ungrateful bastard. Come on, bring along the girlie too." He beckoned them over to a small broom closet where he pushed back a mop and some brooms that looked as if they had never been used to expose a door on the other side with a brightly painted duck on it. "You'll wanna take the right tunnel."

"Got it," Eugene confirmed and quickly ushered Rapunzel through first as he heard the tell tale clanking of the entering guards and their obnoxious bellows searching for the two of them. Not today, Captain, not today.

* * *

><p>"Okay, I think that's the exit there." Eugene pointed in the dimly lit tunnel's end where a door stood against stone walls. "How ya feelin', Blondie?"<p>

"Great!" She chirped back and clung to his arm affectionately, occasionally taking the time to rub her cheek against the exposed patch of his chest, the soft skin of his neck or his scruffy chin, mostly whatever available skin she could find. "I feel sooooo great. We should adventure more often! Adventure gets me all...tingly and stuff. Let's kiss." She grabbed his hand clumsily and eagerly pulled him close. "I feel tingly then too. I like tingles, but not goosebumps, you know? I think there's a difference, but really-"

Exasperated, he grasped her cheek and angled his lips over hers, moving along them luxuriously in a successful attempt to stop her talking. Sighing into the kiss, she wrapped arms around his neck and clutched at his hair to pull him even closer than what seemed possible. She let out a small keening whine as he finally parted from her and pouted at him. With a small smirk, he tapped the pouting lip and asked with an insufferable grin, "What were you saying?"

Her disappointed pout quickly turned into one of confusion to which Eugene let out a small sigh of relief. He hadn't meant for her to get drunk, not really. Once it happened though, there was no stopping it (or Rapunzel's runaway mouth) and he decided it was best to go with the flow. She was eighteen, extremely petite and had never in her life consumed any alcohol with the exception of perhaps a sip of champagne at her welcome celebration. Inebriation was inevitable, and he was glad that it was a first time learning experience amongst people who wouldn't judge her instead of making a complete fool of herself and the kingdom at a royal function. He couldn't help the small smile as she nestled up against him under his arm as if there was no where else she would rather be.

The door as they realised was an old one that had been out of use for years. Rust spread from the hinges and crusted the door handle that was stiff and not about to pull any day soon as Eugene jerked it roughly without any give other than the moan the entire frame gave in response. Stepping back, he examined the frame and glanced at the barely there hinges. Nodding with a satisfied smirk, he lowered his shoulder and stared down the doorway. "You better step back for this, Rapunzel."

"What-" She shrieked as suddenly they were both barrelling towards the door, her arms still wrapped firmly around his waist. As his shoulder connected with the door with a vicious slam, the wood splintered into pieces as the two were sent flailing and screaming...

...Right into the open castle courtyard.

"Oof," Rapunzel groaned and placed her face on Eugene's chest, her body lying heavily on his stiff one. "Eugene...I hope that I don't have an y splinters..."

He rested a hand protectively on the back of her head and murmured, "I think we're okay."

"Not for long, _Rider_."

Rapunzel glanced up and grinned in the way only the drunk can. "Hello, Captain!"

"Fuck..." Was all Eugene managed to mutter and slap a hand over his face in exasperation.

* * *

><p>"Yes, well, it was an awkward and altogether horrifying moment for everyone, wasn't it?" Sir Gallinghad coughs uncomfortably and has the good grace to look away from Rapunzel's burning face. She hadn't meant to cause such a scene, and she knows now at least that chugging a mug of ale is a very poor idea indeed.<p>

"Your mother and father were very kind to just let you off with etiquette lessons and a promise from you not to run away from your guards again. Perhaps you may find a way to repay them for their love and kindness by learning ways not to further embarrass them." He chastises her not unkindly before coughing and refitting a stern expression on his long face. "_Now_, we were continuing on curtsying and-"

"Sir Gallinghad." A guard appears at the doorway, standing awkwardly and stiffly until the tutors waves impatiently for him to continue. "You've been requested at the stables."

"The stables?" He repeats, confused. "Whatever for?"

"Your, um, horse," The guard shifts uncomfortably and adjusts his helmet over his eyes further. "I'm afraid to say that someone has...released it. We are currently searching for it."

"My horse? My prize purebred stallion?" Sir Gallinghad roars in outrage, his face turning a splotchy crimson as he storms out the door with no more further ado, pushing past the guard. His bellows bounce off the walls as he disappears running down the hallways.

"Oh, my," Rapunzel murmurs softly and asks the guard whose head is still lowered to face his feet, "What happened? Do they know who did it?"

The head raises and jauntily tips back the helmet, smirking. "No they do not, but I can certainly venture a guess as to whom..."

"Eugene!" She shrieks and runs to him, throwing her arms around his ridiculous uniform. "I missed you." Two weeks have passed since the Mishap and for two weeks she has been worrying herself sick over his fate, begging to her parents not to punish him. "Where have you _been_?"

"Your dad managed to talk the Captain out of sending me to prison and sent me under house arrest instead for the past couple weeks. Which, as it turns out, isn't so bad when you're being sent full course meals to your room and lounging in feather beds all day..."

"I'm really sorry," She says earnestly and grips his fingers tightly. "I didn't want _anyone _to get into trouble."

"Aw, I know, Goldie. Besides, that facial they gave me the other day did _wonders _for my complexion, not that, you know, it wasn't wondrous before.. You should really think about getting Big Nose one of those."

She recognizes the diversion and is grateful he isn't mad at her, so she smiles up at him and teases, "What's with the uniform?"

"This old thing?" He gestures to his outfit and sighs dramatically, "Oh, you know, I just like to play dress up for fun and then whisk the princess off away from the dreaded tower. Again." He waves around to the fifth story room in which they were currently standing and grins.

"_He went that way_!"

A sharp cry rings through the hallway and startles both of them standing there before Eugene rushes to the balcony doors, throwing them open. "Oops, it's time to take our leave now, Goldie."

"Off the balcony?" She asks incredulously and feels a little flutter of panic rise up in her chest for Eugene (who, it's obvious to see, is _not _supposed to be here gallivanting around in some guard's stolen uniform) as the clattering of armour approaches quicker and quicker. "_Now?"_

"No other way to do it." He declares cheerfully and throws one leg over the rail, hand expectantly outstretched waiting for her.

She returns his grin and runs to him, she can learn how to curtsy to a duke's son some other day.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't think Rapunzel would've settled right into palace life. She'd still probably want to run around singing to woodland creature and other such things that Disney princesses do for a while after being trapped so long, and Flynn probably would've fought the domestication to the end, I would think. <strong>

**I hope it was obvious enough which was the reaccounting for the past Mishap and which was the present lessons in the tower!**

**MissLe**


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